Episode 1x33 Englisch

Scene 01
SASHA: We really better get going.
AMBER: Yeah, I guess.
SASHA: Crazy, we finally find each other only to be separated straight away.
AMBER: We could meet later? Well I mean we dont have to-
SASHA: Its okay, Ill see you after the stag night then.
[They kiss]
[Bray looks on very pissed]

Scene 02
SASHA: Hows it going?
DAL: Its not going to work. Ive had a look at the pump and its hopeless.
JACK: But I think we could rig something up Dal. I mean look, we could run the hose down there, trail it along there and then-
DAL: We?
JACK: Okay, you. Im the ideas man I guess.
SASHA: Youll still get the fountain effect for me?
JACK: Yeah, it will be just like in the movies, Niagara Falls.
SASHA: Whats she doing?
JACK: Worshiping the fountain of life apparently.
SASHA: Probably praying its going to work.
DAL: Oh yeah, well need some divine way to get through this.
LEX: Oi! Dal over here, I need a hand.
DAL: Im busy.
LEX: Its important.
DAL: What?
LEX: The booze, whered you stash it?
DAL: In the lift.
LEX: Right, lets go.
ZANDRA: [Screams] Lex get out of my sight!
LEX: What have I done now?
DAL: Its bad luck for the groom to see the bride the night before the wedding, remember?
LEX: Yeah.
ZANDRA: Im going to count to ten, then Im opening my eyes and youd better be gone. One, Two, Three, Four, Five, Six, Seven, Eight, Nine, Ten.

Scene 03
TAI-SAN: Hi Zandra.
ZANDRA: Bet your feeling sorry for yourself, Ive got Lex and you havent, and tomorrow hell be mine forever.
TAI-SAN: I wish you both nothing but joy.
ZANDRA: Yeah right. You just better not try anything thats all.

Scene 04
ZANDRA: I couldnt eat a thing, my guts are doing summersaults.
AMBER: Try to force yourself, this stuffs fresh from the farm.
ZANDRA: Ill have a little, but dont blame me if I throw up.
TRUDY: You should relax, its only stage fright.
AMBER: Thats right, its always worse the night before.
ZANDRA: Easy for you to say, youre not getting married.
TRUDY: Are you okay?
SALENE: Im fine.
CLOE: Wheres Tai-San?
ZANDRA: Shes not coming
CLOE: Why?
PATSY: She did get invited, didnt she?
ZANDRA: No. No! Im not having her, it would ruin everything.
AMBER: Zandra.
ZANDRA: Its my hens night, isnt it?
CLOE: Are you angry at Tai-San?
AMBER: Zandra this wedding is supposed to be bringing us together.
ZANDRA: Alright.
AMBER: Good. Cloe, go and see if Tai-San wants to join us.

Scene 05
LEX: Home made cider from the farm. This stuff is lethal.
DAL: Its only cider.
SASHA: Too right. This stuff should come with a health warrant around it.
JACK: Excellent.
LEX: Sure is. Dont you think so Ryan?
RYAN: It does the job.
LEX: So wheres Bray?
JACK: In his room reading.
LEX: Reading? On my stag night? No way! Look hes not getting off that easy. Bray! Stop reading! This is Lex ordering you to come out and play! Look dont be a total nerd! Come on man, its my stag night, lets bury the hatchet, huh?
BRAY: Whatever Lex. As long as its not in my back.

Scene 06
CLOE: Tai-San? Tai-San?
TAI-SAN: What is it Cloe?
CLOE: Weve started the hen night, are you coming?
TAI-SAN: I cant, Im fasting.
CLOE: What?
TAI-SAN: Im not eating for the next 24 hours, only water until after the wedding.
CLOE: Why?
TAI-SAN: To purify myself, to make my spirit strong so that my prayers for Lex and Zandra are answered.
CLOE: I dont get it.
TAI-SAN: Know how your body needs exercise to keep healthy? Well its the same for your spirit; holy men have done it for thousands of years.
CLOE: Sitting in a room all alone, not eating, thats exercise?
TAI-SAN: Exactly.

Scene 07
SASHA: Gentlemen-
JACK: And Kc.
SASHA: Id like you to raise your glasses please, I give you a toast to Lex and Zandra.
ALL: To Lex and Zandra.
RYAN: Id like to propose a toast, just to Zandra.
KC: Hang on, Ive finished mine.
LEX: Me too.
SASHA: I think youre supposed to sip at toasts guys.
RYAN: Ready? Good luck to Zandra, married to Lex shes going to need it. To Zandra.
ALL: To Zandra!
JACK: Id like to propose a toast, to Lexs last night of freedom.
SASHA: Thats right Lex, no more fooling around.
LEX: I dont care.
DAL: Of course you dont, if Ebony came and threw herself at you, youd turn away, wouldnt you?
LEX: Absolutely.
JACK: Ill agree to drink to that, to Ebony!
ALL: To Ebony!

Scene 08
SALENE: You finished?
ZANDRA: Yeah, do you want it?
SALENE: Id forgotten how good real food tasted.
PATSY: Me too.
AMBER: Get used to it, theyll be plenty more where that came from.
ZANDRA: Yeah, roast pig at my wedding banquet.
TRUDY: Were you worried wed forgotten about you?
ZANDRA: Well, you do seem more interested in the food then my big day, the day Ive been dreaming about my whole life.
PATSY: You dreamed about marrying Lex all your life.
ZANDRA: Since the first time I saw him, I knew he was the one.
CLOE: What was he doing?
ZANDRA: Hiding. He was so tough and so brave, I had to have him.
AMBER: Poor Lex, he didnt stand a chance.
TRUDY: I wonder who will be next.
ZANDRA: Amber?
AMBER: Maybe.
TRUDY: So does this mean that you and Sasha are official?
PATSY: Oh great, I love Sasha.
CLOE: Yeah, now hell have to stay.
AMBER: I hope so.
ZANDRA: Dont worry; youre made for each other.
TRUDY: But dont rush into anything, take your time. I mean look at me, I could have married Zoot or Bray, thank goodness I didnt.
ZANDRA: You had a lucky escape. That Brays a slippery one, you never know where you are with him, isnt that right Salene?
TRUDY: Salene?
SALENE: Sorry, I was miles away. Everyone had enough? Good, Ill clear up then.
TRUDY: Dont be long.

Scene 09
SASHA: Now, which one is the nine of spades?
JACK: That one. [Nope]
KC: That one. [Nope] Brill! Can you teach me that?
BRAY: Its only a stupid card trick, no great mystery.
SASHA: Youre saying theres no art to it?
BRAY: None. A monkey could do it.
SASHA: Youre out of line. The trick is a small part, the real skill is how you deal with the punter, the eye contact, the pattern, drawing them in.
JACK: You know what, I bet you could figure this out statistically.
LEX: Alright, I want to play another game.
DAL: What?

Scene 10
TRUDY: Salene?
SALENE: What are you doing? Spying on me again?
TRUDY: No I was-
SALENE: No need, I was just coming.

Scene 11
ALL: Drink! Drink! Drink! Drink! Drink! Drink! Drink! Drink! Drink! Drink! Drink! Drink! Drink! Drink! Drink! [Cheering]
DAL: Whos next?
ALL: Kc! Kc! Kc! Kc! Kc! Kc! Kc! Kc! Kc! Kc! Kc! Kc! [Cheering]

Scene 12
BOYS: Drink! Drink! Drink! Drink! Drink! Drink! Drink! Drink! Drink! Drink! Drink! Drink! Drink! Drink! Drink! [Cheering]
TRUDY: What are they doing?
ZANDRA: This is terrible; it sounds like theyre drunk.
PATSY: Drunk?
TRUDY: Maybe they got some home made stuff from the farm.
PATSY: I like it, its funny.
ZANDRA: No its not! Every time Lex is on the grog something awful happens, something really awful.
AMBER: Ill go and see what theyre up to.

Scene 13
BRAY: Come on, have a go, its easy. Like that.
SASHA: I cant; Im no good at skateboards.
BRAY: Really? And I thought you were good at everything.
LEX: No way, Im not risking my neck the night before the honeymoon; I need all my bits in working order.
KC: Okay, Im ready, lets race.
JACK: Welcome to the Mall Rats handicap, drivers are on their grids, engines running, ready?
AMBER: Guys! Be careful!
JACK: Three Dal, Two, One, Kc! Dals off to a good lead but Kc is in hot pursuit, scorching paces, thats right, oooh Kc is going real fast, neck and neck around the ?, Dal's just hanging on to the lead- he goes-
[ZANDRA Screams]

Scene 14
JACK: Get him off! Get him off! Im injured!
BRAY: Its probably just a sprain.
AMBER: Ryan can you help him to bed.
RYAN: Sure.
ZANDRA: Is he alright? Be careful!
AMBER: Zandra. Please calm down.
JACK: No shes right, be careful.
ZANDRA: I knew it! I knew it! If anything else goes wrong I dont know what Ill do!
AMBER: Why dont you go to bed?
BRAY: Thats a good idea; weve had enough fun for one night.
DAL: Ill get a cold water pack, keep the swelling down.
AMBER: Thanks Dal.
ZANDRA: Be careful!
AMBER: Zandra, bedtime. Youve got a big day ahead and you need all the beauty sleep you can get. Goodnight. You drunk too?
SASHA: A bit light headed, nothing chronic.
AMBER: What time is it?
SASHA: Late. We should get some shut eye, big day ahead.
AMBER: We dont have to.
SASHA: It all seems a bit of a waste, you know? All this chaos going on and in the morning it will be no better. Were expected to be in charge, we could wait.
AMBER: Your right. Wed probably be interrupted by a hysterical Zandra-
SASHA: Or demented Lex.
AMBER: Or Patsy and Cloe looking for advice on wedding decorations.
SASHA: Theres time. Weve all the time in the world. Goodnight.

Scene 15
RYAN: Wake up Lex! Wake up!
LEX: What?
RYAN: Youre getting married today, remember?
LEX: I dont think I can well have to do it tomorrow Whats your problem?!
RYAN: Im your best man, and my job is to get you to the alter, and I will, even if I have to drag you there.
LEX: I think youve made your point. Anyway who rattled your cage? Anybody would think it was you marrying Zandra, not me.

Scene 16
[Sasha kisses a sleeping Amber]
SASHA: Morning sleeping beauty.
AMBER: Ohh Sasha
SASHA: Sleep well?
AMBER: Not really.
SASHA: If it makes you feel better I didnt get a wink either.
AMBER: Good. What time is it?
SASHA: Time to get to work; weve got a wedding to organize.
AMBER: Umm.

Scene 17
JACK: Dal. Dal. Dal. Get off me! Off my leg!

Scene 18
KC: I cant eat this stuff; Im going to be sick.
PATSY: You have to try, it will help.
TAI-SAN: Shes right, give your system time to soak up the alcohol.
PATSY: Its your own stupid fault.
TAI-SAN: Ive got some herbal remedies that will make you feel more human.
PATSY: Dont spoil him, let him learn his lesson.
TRUDY: Tai-San, arent you eating either?
CLOE: No, shes fasting.
TRUDY: Why?
CLOE: Its an exercise.
TRUDY: Exercise?
TAI-SAN: Thats right, purifying my body for this special day.
[KC is sick]
TRUDY: Well I guess thats another way of purifying your body.

Scene 19
ROANNE: You again? After more grub? You know the deal; last time was a one off, no more freebies.
SALENE: Ive got something for you.
ROANNE: Sorry, I cant use this.
SALENE: But theyre diamonds!
ROANNE: Theyre a fake, cheap glass, worthless.
SALENE: But its all Ive got!
ROANNE: What happened to the other food I gave you?
SALENE: The rats ate it.
ROANNE: Thats too bad.

Scene 20
AMBER: Hey thats great kids, what beautiful flowers.
PATSY: You can have flowers like these when you get married.
SASHA: Hey Bray, youre a handyman, could you spare us your time?
BRAY: Im busy.
SASHA: Is this going to work or what? Jack seemed pretty confident.
DAL: Jacks a bit better with theory then practice. Youd better leave all the practical stuff to me.
SASHA: You can still do it though?
DAL: Oh yeah. It will be good. A little surprise for Lex and Zandra.

Scene 21
ZANDRA: Are you sure it looks okay?
TRUDY: You look great.
ZANDRA: I feel fat.
TRUDY: Dont be absurd!
ZANDRA: And my bum sticks out.
TRUDY: Lex will be knocked out. Truly, youre gorgeous.
ZANDRA: Its not here! My necklace is gone!
TRUDY: Are you sure?
ZANDRA: I always keep it here! It belonged to my grandmother, she wore it at her wedding, so did my mother.

Scene 22
[Zandras crying]
AMBER: Are you sure youve looked everywhere?
ZANDRA: Its an omen. A sign. I cant get married now!

Scene 23
DAL: Maybe someone stole it. [Zandra sobs] Sorry, but it is possible.
PATSY: Yeah, first the food, and now this.
SASHA: Come on, no good standing around moaning, well check every inch of the Mall until we find it, it cant have walked off on its own. Dal, Patsy and I will check the shops upstairs.

Scene 24
DAL: Hey! Here it is!
PATSY: Yeah! Theres going to be a wedding! Yes!
SASHA: Fantastic! Amber! Zandra! We found it!
PATSY: Let me show Zandra!
DAL: Howd it wind up there?
SASHA: Maybe Zandra dropped it.
DAL: Then why didnt nobody notice it?
SASHA: Does it matter? At least it wasnt stolen; no thief in his right mind would have left it like that.

Scene 25
AMBER: Is everyone settled? Then lets begin.
[SASHA PLAYS THE FLUTE]
AMBER: Does anyone know of any reason why Zandra and Lex shouldnt be married?
JACK: I could think of plenty.
LEX: Ryan?
RYAN: What? Well I- I-
ZANDRA: The ring Ryan.
RYAN: Oh yeah.
LEX: With this here ring I
RYAN: Vow my-
LEX: Undying love. Vow it. I do.
ZANDRA: And I vow the same to you.
AMBER: Finished? Then its time for the spirit of life to bless this happy couple, the water of life, that, like hope, springs eternal. You may kiss the bride.
[CLAPPING & WHISTELING]